The alarm went off and it was already 7:30AM. Normally, I would hit snooze and sleep for another ten or twenty minutes, but today is a very exciting day. It’s the first day of football for the NFL. A big deal to my fiancé and I. Football rings memories of beer, brats, and me stumbling to bed before 7pm because of all the yummy beer and brats. However, today was going to be different. I would not be eating any brats this football season, nor would I be drinking ANY beer.
I had prepped my fiancé, Jimmy, days in advance. “On Sunday, if we go to the bar, we are not allowed to eat there”. To my surprise, he agreed. (He knows I am trying to change my lifestyle and is being a great supporter.) Earlier in the week, I had also prepped myself for something else that was a crucial part of my bride to be plan during football season. No beer. Now, I know this may seem simple to some of you. Have a little self control, you say. But the thought of blue moon hitting my tongue, followed by the sweet flavor of the orange slice that the bartender may or may not have put in there for me is HEAVEN on earth during football season. I don’t know why, but Blue Moon always tastes better when the Eagles are on.
Jimmy and I had agreed to smoothies and egg sandwiches on wheat toast to start us off before we left for the Eagles first game. By the time I was done getting ready, breakfast was on the table for me. Jimmy made me a delicious Wheat Toast, 2% American Cheese, Scrambled Egg, Turkey Bacon and Ketchup sandwich. I already start calculating calories in my head. This meal will probably run me about 400 calories. But don’t forget the smoothie he made me too!! That had banana, protein mix, orange juice, mixed berries, yogurt and flax seed in it. I calculate about another 200 calories for this meal. Not too bad since I probably won’t eat again until 3PM or so.
We finish breakfast and we are off to the game. While in the car, I try to give Jim a little food for thought. I tell him about an article a friend sent me which talked about weight loss and alcohol. I tell him that I think besides not eating, I also think he should avoid drinking beer today because it will immediately hinder any goals he has for fitness. He tries to compromise by saying he will only drink on Sundays, and will not drink beer the rest of the week. This may seem like I accomplished something, but really I did not. He doesn’t drink during the week anyway and I’m too tired to really continue the conversation. Jimmy 1, Dani 0.
We arrive at the parking structure for the bar at 8:50 sharp and due to my exhaustion I demand that we stop off at the nearby coffee shop instead of going directly to the bar. We walk in and I am immediately hit with the smell of pastries. And oh man do they smell delicious. I start to dream about rolling around in a giant pile of pastries followed by a bath in their icing. What is wrong with me? Good thing my belly is full of smoothie and egg sandwich otherwise the 800 pound gorilla that lives in my belly may have devoured the entire coffee shop. I manage to leave the shop with a sugar free vanilla café au lait. I feel a certain level of relief when I leave the coffee shop. I had successfully gone in and gotten what I wanted without getting anything else that would ruin my daily plan. Dani 1, CoffeeShop 0.
Our friends slowly arrive and fill up our table. The men order a bucket of bud light bottles. So far so good, I am not feeling very tempted as I am still enjoying my sugar free delight. Then it happens. The waitress drops off a bowl of the most devilishly good creations on earth: Tater Tots. Deep Fried, none the less. My eyes start to move around, I am looking for the person who ordered them. Why? BECAUSE SHE PUT THE TOTS DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME. Oh god, they smell so good. They look so crispy. One wouldn’t hurt, would it? Yes, yes it would. I tell myself if I can quit smoking cigarettes, I can avoid eating these tiny little pieces of heaven. But then I start staring at them. I can’t help myself, they are RIGHT there. My only move is to put my purse in between the tots and myself. Then finally, someone says “Oh Sorry, do you not want any”. Really? I think to myself. Really? Fuck you. Of course I don’t want any. Have you seen my ass? Get those things away from me. But instead of saying that, I politely say “no thank you, I am trying to watch what I eat.” Dani 1, Tots 0.
I think the men got to about their 5th bucket of bud lights, when the quesadilla was brought to the table. I knew it was coming, I heard her order it, but still I don’t think I was quite prepared. You see, I LOVE cheese. Especially melty stringy cheese, so to see someone pulling apart their quesadilla, and the cheese just dangling from their mouth and not mine… well, it was heart breaking. The worst part about the quesadilla, I think, was that the bitch didn’t finish eating it. Whoa, I’m sorry, she’s really not a bitch, that’s just my inner fat kid getting pissed that someone wouldn’t finish a delicious meal such as a cheese quesadilla. So she leaves the bar at half time and here is this quesadilla just sitting there. Calling to me. “Eat me Dani, I know you want to, I have seen you staring at me the whole game. Sure I may be a little cold now, but I’m still just as tasty as before.” I lean over to Jimmy and I say “Are you hungry?” And he says “No, not at all”. So now I feel like a complete lard ass. I tell myself if he is twice your size, ate the same things you did for breakfast and is not hungry yet, you shouldn’t be hungry either. And then, almost like a sign from the do not eat this gods, another person starts picking at the left overs of the quesadilla. Dani 1, Quesadilla 0.
Since I had not done anything but drink coffee or water since being at the bar, I was now super hungry once the game was over. I was presented with the option to stay and watch the next game OR go home and relax by myself. I opted to go home, make myself a nice healthy soup, and sit down in front of the T.V. Even though I decided to go home to my comfortable couch instead of staying and being social, I felt a certain amount of pride about my day so far. Things were looking up and it could only get easier from here. Unless tater tots and quesadillas somehow figured out where I lived, I was safe for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment